10 JAN 2012

Was reminded today that a dear friend of mine comes from an extreme religious belief system.

The embracing of death as an escape from "suffering" here on earth is extreme.  To me there is no difference between a Muslim groomed to believe that death brings with it the promise of reward in the "next life" and an extreme Christian who views death as an escape from suffering.  (Note this article.) It's deeply sad.  It is the symptom of people in depression.  They feel sad, it seeems.  They are depressed and feel there is no escape.  But they keep themselves in whatever situation they are in.  Depression.  It's not religion, it's depression.  Passed down from generation to generation.

It's sad to think that there are people who feel that all the beauty on this planet is substandard to something promised to them in another world.  To me, that is a group of people who are unhappy with their situation, feel powerless to change it (but actually can), so they make up a better place in their minds to go to.  If your belief system denies you all the pleasure of this world, well hell, of course another existence is better.

How do I move respectfully around this as a friend?  I see these friends denying themselves such a wonderful existence here on this beautiful planet because their whole family or community believed something, so they (probably) feel they have to do the same.

Death is not an escape.  It leaves the rest of us who love these extremists to bear the burden of what is left. We have to take on their responsibilities left behind.  We have to bury them. We have to have the nightmares, not them.  We have to cry, not them.  It's a selfish thing.

I would never subject my son to that view of life.  I would never ask him to view the beauty in the night sky and then tell him his is nothing compared to something else.  It disrespects the intricate beauty of his existence and the beauty around him right then and there.  It debases the important things he is doing now.  I would never let my son feel that his life, in this moment, was less important than anything in the future.  Every breath he takes is precious, each one equally to the last.

I think what frightens me is that I see symptoms of depression in this friend, and the family doesn't seem to see it.  I see red flags in things he says, but it seems to be interpreted as religious parlance to them.  I have also heard my friend say things that make me suspect he feels abandoned by them. It hurts so much and I feel so powerless.

My friends who are extreme would say, "You don't understand."  That is a possibility.  But I think I do understand.  I see that they are probably... "conditioned", and most likely clinically depressed, and that it is sad, but I still love them all. They have created a happy future place to go to when life gets hard so that they can give up on life and not feel guilt.  The rest of us just change our situation and keep going, learning more as we go.  But we have to bury these dead.  They will selfishly leave us that burden. I don't agree with that.